Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
