i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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