either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
