You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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