Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
