I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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