Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
