i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
