I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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