Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
