i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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