she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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