Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
