He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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