People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
