Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
