I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
