I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
