why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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