Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Randomize
