Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Randomize
