Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
