Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
The power of my boobs compel you
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
