Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
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