he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
