i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
