My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
my liver is dry heaving
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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