I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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