So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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