There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
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