Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
