i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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