His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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