Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
