The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
