I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
