that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Randomize
