Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
