I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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