There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
