Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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