It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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