haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
The struggles of a small town man whore
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
