How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
