Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
