I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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