We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
