The maid of honor just puked.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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