he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
