After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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