I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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