You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
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